


5 times Dean used the Angel Banishment and the one time it really bit him in the ass

by Nanerich



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Crack Fic, Dean is a Little Shit, Gen, Sam needs a Break, a downright dick, or at least a hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-23
Updated: 2019-12-23
Packaged: 2021-02-26 05:55:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 750
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21918697
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nanerich/pseuds/Nanerich
Summary: The Angel Banishment does come in handy for even the pettiest of arguments. Sufficite to say, Sam is not amused.
Relationships: Castiel & Dean Winchester & Sam Winchester
Comments: 2
Kudos: 28





	5 times Dean used the Angel Banishment and the one time it really bit him in the ass

1

“Hey Dean?”

Sam found his brother in the kitchen, enjoying something Dean would call a burger, Sam and every doctor'd call that monstrosity a cardio infarct.

“Whazzup?”

“You know why Cas just asked to be picked up in Chicago? Wasn't he just here?”

“Yeah, but he pissed me off”, Dean explained with a shrug. “So I banished him.”

“You did what?”

“Yeah”, Dean repeated.

“Why?”, Sam asked, though he was pretty sure he didn't want to hear the answer to that.

“He insulted Baby.” Dean's entire demeanour changed into pure rage. “BABY! INSULTED! By that idiot in a trenchcoat!” Banging his fist on the table, he stared Sam down. “Nobody puts Baby in a corner.”

“Dean”, he sighed, “I'm pretty sure he didn't...”

“He said she was dirty, Sam.” If Cas had successfully killed Sam, Dean couldn't have looked angrier.

“Oh, come on”, Sam groaned with the roll of his eyes, “he's an Angel. He doesn't say or understand anything that isn't completely literal.”

“That excuse doesn't count any more, and you know that”, Dean hissed. “So don't even think you can take Baby to go and pick him up.”

“Fine.” Why was Sam always the one stuck in their bickering? It was not fair. “Where are the motorbike keys?”

“There.” Halfheartedly, Dean gestured at a box on the counter, before focusing back on his behemoth of a burger.

* * *

2

“Dean.”

“Sam.”

“Why the fuck did you banish Cas again?”, Sam groaned.

“Where'd he land?”, Dean asked, grinning somewhat devilishly.

“Some field outside St Louis.”

“Oh, nice one”, Dean chuckled. “You gonna pick him up again?”

Thankfully, Sam had explained to Cas how to use a credit card by now, so he didn't have to drive cross country. “What did he do?”

“He cheated at Shoots and Ladders.”

“You're such a four-year-old!”

* * *

3

Sam was done being angry. “What did he do?”

He didn't have to specify who or what he was referencing, by the grin on Dean's face he knew what Sam was going on about. “He interrupted Doctor Sexy”, the older brother explained. “Nobody interrupts Doctor Sexy.”

As Dean barely looked up from the TV screen, Sam just rolled his eyes and walked out of the room.

He was almost out the door, when Dean called after him. “Where did he land?”

“Austin.”

“Huh.”

“Yeah.”

* * *

4

“Before you say anything, he said that I was stupid”, Dean defended himself, before Sam could even open his mouth.

“But you are stupid”, Sam shot back.

“Et tu?” Dean clutched his chest and shot Sam the most dramatic expression he could.

“Yes, et meus”, he rolled his eyes. “He landed in Tijuana.”

“Oh shit”, Dean laughed, “Cas in Tijuana? What a disaster!”

“That's not funny.” Admittedly, Sam could barely bite down a grin himself, but did his all to keep the moral high ground.

“Trust me, as someone who has been with Cas at a strip club I can one hundred percent say that yes, it is absolutely hilarious.”

* * *

5

“Dean.”

“Where is he?”

“Atlantic City.”

“Cool, maybe he'll bring some saltwater toffee”, Dean grinned and turned his attention back to his compuer.

“Dean. Why?”

“He didn't let me do my work”, he just shrugged without looking up.

“Since when do you like working instead of being distracted?”

“Since my research involves a haunted bikini bar.”

* * *

+1

With a white flash, Cas disappeared again. Dean already braced himself for the disappointed speech he'd get from Sam who for the first time witnessed Dean banishing the Angel for some petty stuff. Although Cas calling Dean a stupid, hairless ape, who should be lucky that he could walk upright was really dickish and Dean deserved to react how he did react.

But when the blinding light had receded again, his little brother was gone, too. Shit.

How could Sam have been banished? He wasn't possessed by some asshole angel again, was he? Or had Cas just taken Sam with him?

Great, both members of Team Free Will, pissed with Dean, once they'd manage to get back. Awesome.

He was curious though, as to where he had sent them. He had to wait about half an hour for the expected message from Sam, opening it with a wide grin, that dropped as soon as he saw the picture of Sam and Cas, on a beach, each a cocktail in hand, as the sun set over the sea.

_Thanks for the free airfare to San Diego! See you in a few days :)_

Well, fuck.


End file.
